He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i will never coherently bang her
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The uberlube is also flammable
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize