After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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