She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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