well I can't set my house on fire every night
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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