It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
