This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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