My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
