I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
