you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
that may or may not have been my penis.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
