it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
