I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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