Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
