About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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