Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
