If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
