You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
