how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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