Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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