Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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