i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
