Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
