Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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