D3 body, D1 cock
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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