hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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