I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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