They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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