Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You were trust falling into bushes
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
