No stitches, just platelets and will power
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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