proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize