We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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