official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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