Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
