I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
