How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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