Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
