the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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