I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
