Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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