So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
