I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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