Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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