your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
