Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
