In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
