and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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