What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
