somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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