someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I have demons in me.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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