you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
