I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
