You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
