i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
