Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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