im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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