I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
