is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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