I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
