people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
