Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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