The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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