I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
