It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I AM VODKA MAN
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
