im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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