i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
